As I reflect on the passing of a recent family friend, one who accomplished things most people have never even thought of, I consider how the points in our life accumulate in retrospect. Living life forward, the way we have to, those vast expanses of tough times, uncertainty, and seemingly endless plateaus make it difficult to recognize the impact we make on the world around us and, more importantly, on the people in our lives. I won’t lie, I’ve judged the people around me, and myself, only to realize that makes no sense at all. We are all just pieces in a gazillion-piece puzzle, and yes, some people are corners, and some people are edges, and some people are that frustratingly amorphous piece with no clear place to belong until that last piece in the middle. Some are amorphous in appearance, but carry the edges in the pattern, some are edges but are ultimately a part of the background, and some are amorphous and in pattern and in boundaries. But in the end, all are necessary to complete the puzzle. In some circumstances you might be an edge or a crucial corner piece and in other circumstances it’s not clear to anyone, even yourself, where and how you belong. It’s not always about knowing your exact place but more about being willing to try and do your part in every situation. The pieces of our life are like a puzzle; going forward we want just one situation where everything, every piece comes together at the right time. It doesn’t always work that way and many times the pieces come in in dribs and drabs, one, two, or a couple at a time. Not all at once as we seek to make sense of the picture of our lives. Accept this pace. If all the pieces came in at once you wouldn’t be able to handle it.
My friend who passed away had all the pieces. I’m sure there were times when he had doubt, self-loathing, fear, anxiety, depression, remorse, pain, and a whole host of other ugly human emotions. But he also had hope, love, courage, desire, inquisitiveness, protectiveness, a communal spirit, passion, and, most of all, an incredible appetite for life.
I hereby say that all the pieces in your life won’t come at once or even in an order that makes sense. Don’t despair, don’t give up, and push forward.
